Is the change really happening?

My family has a young niece who is the daughter of my older sibling. This year she turned six and began attending school. Observing how my sister creates an educational environment for her daughter, I observed distinct alterations from the past.

My sister has changed the way she teaches my niece, as well as the way she communicates with her daughter. It’s more relaxed and less distant than when my parents or grandparents raised us. In addition, I believe my sister is making efforts to stand up for her daughter if my parents enforce outmoded beliefs regarding how my niece should eat, study, and behave. I stand by my sister at these points.

Nonetheless, I believe that my sister is currently experiencing difficulty as well. The changes are superficial, meaning that she is altering her outward views but has not altered her core beliefs. For example, my sister told her child that she no longer cared about good grades, so she would be happy no matter how many points my niece received. Unlike many other parents, she does not require her daughter to attend preschool. Instead, my niece must study English and writing skills. My sister allowed the child to organically follow the regular school curriculum without forcing her to learn early, which is a change. On the other hand, she believes that her daughter must adhere to a specific program and attend a particular class type. She also told me that she had to pay money to enroll her child in a specific class at a school.

Another case is my parents forced me to study for approximately four hours every evening at home in the past. My sister no longer requires her child to study for four hours but for two. My sibling considers this to be an indication of advancement. But I told her this is simply a change in form, not the essence. Then, my sister stated that she wants her child to pursue arts or whatever the child enjoys rather than Math, Physics, and Chemistry, as our generation did. Then, my niece must study drawing, ballet, and piano. Even my sister would let her child attend an art school if she could arrange more time. Upon observation, I discovered that my niece only enjoyed drawing. However, my sister only allows her child to attend drawing class once weekly, as the rest of her time is devoted to learning to play the piano and dance.

In contrast, her child is highly introverted. My niece dislikes socializing with others and prefers to be alone with her painting. Frequently, she communicates with only one individual. If two or three people approached her at once, she would avoid them. My sister informed me that she needed to enroll my niece in various courses to teach her how to collaborate with her peers and to become more confident. This demonstrated that my sister still has some standards to follow rather than looking at her child's nature. Therefore, if she only alters the form, it will not differ significantly from our generation.

I continue to observe and have conversations with my sister about this. She agrees with my suggestion but cannot figure out what to do when others in society follow standards. She feared that her daughter would have low self-esteem among her classmates because all the other families around us sent their children to various classes. My sister wasn't afraid that her child would get bad grades, but she was worried that my niece would feel guilty and unequal to her peers or think she was inferior. So my sister still had to push her daughter further, even though she didn't want to force my niece like that.